Every time I read a blog post about ‘’why I regret being a stay at home mom’’ I get the impression that these people do not regret being stay at home mothers but rather that they feel as though society has refused to acknowledge their work as real work and that is what depresses them.
And it gets me angry to think about just how much parenting is undervalued. A part of me understands why but a part of me does not and gets furious that people cannot see that there is no future without kids.
Reading statements like ‘’do not have kids if you cannot afford it’’, ‘’having kids is a luxury’’, ‘’do not expect us single people to sponsor the lifestyle choices of parents, we did not have kids for a reason’’, ‘’stay at home moms; your kids do not need you’’. It all makes me sick to my stomach. Society does not value kids, society does not value the work of parenthood, society does not value parenting, and society therefore does not value people.
I see my purpose in life as to have kids. I respect that others do not see it this way but I want to know from them what do they think is the purpose of life? What is the purpose of life to you? Biology is my religion and so happiness, feeling joy and of course having kids (which brings joy) is my purpose in life. My life exists because someone birthed me, and my life exists to birth others.
And the more I think about it, and the more I explore the idea of feminism the more I realize that one of my core issues with feminism is that it seriously undervalues motherhood and parenting. Parenting for the most part has historically been the female’s job simply because she was the one who got pregnant and evolutionarily speaking the guy who got her pregnant may not have always been around.
Child care is women’s work, while going out into places that have been historically speaking unsafe (ie. the working world) is male work. Women’s work is undervalued. It is undervalued because we took it for granted, because we could not avoid it, it was a fact of life and half of the population did it. Times have now changed though, we have control over whether we have kids or not and so we have to start valuing parenthood again.
We have to start changing society to make parenthood enjoyable. We have to start treating parenthood as a birthright. Everyone should have the right to enjoyable parenthood. At least to have 1 or 2 children. Isn’t it sad that we live in a world where people think parenting is a chore and no one is doing anything to change it?