Okay so like I said in this post monogamy is not natural. Or maybe it is but not in a completely sense since it is also natural for us to want to sleep with other people. It seems to be the best trick that mankind has played on nature though because it enabled the formation of family units which benefited children (especially boys).
If I think about the alternatives to monogamy, like open relationships or polygamous relationships they can also provide a great environment for children (in some ways an even better environment than monogamous relationships because they give children access to more than 2 parents), but it seems to me that they are still slightly unnatural. Neither monogamous nor polygamous relationships are entirely natural because the truth is that the concept of male-fame relationships probably came a bit late in our evolution. Not so late that they are entirely unnatural, but so late that fulfilling our natural desires alone would probably still leave us completely uncommitted.
Open relationships solve the biological inconsistency of denying yourself sexual pleasure when it is available but they create a playground for jealousy. Yesterday I went to a baby play group with my toddler. She almost fell and the mother of a 10 month old helped her not to fall. The 10 month old saw that and started screaming and crawled over to his mother to stop the physical contact that was taking place. This type of behavior is common and observable in all babies and even toddler where I live. ALL. They say (and I believe this) that it is a result of insecure attachment or the babies needs not being fully met.
So in countries where mothers typically meet all of the babies needs by co-sleeping and breastfeeding etc. and where there is a larger community of adults available to the child this type of jealously is rarely seen. I use this example of jealously because it came from a 10 month old baby who has had very little socialization. Jealousy as a result of not having all or basic needs met therefore seems to be a natural thing. Open relationships set up a situation where jealousy has to be dealt with at the source (ie our insecurities) rather than at the trigger (ie how monogamy deals with jealousy). Human insecurities are very hard to address in a world as superficial as ours is so until people (mainly women) stop sexually discriminating based on things like money or how much of a jerk a guy is we will always have human insecurities within male female relationships.
If the majority of people were to have open relationships society on a whole would do fine in terms of meeting children’s needs but we would end up with a huge group of people (mostly men I think) who do not get very much sex at all and who would be very unhappily wondering whose children they were taking care of or if they would ever be able to pass on their genes. Unless it was done in such a way in which a husband and wife must prioritize each other’s needs before going outside and then I think we would quickly end up with monogamy.
So relationships being separate from sex can work fine until we encounter jealously. To address this type of jealousy we have to make each member of the relationship secure. Monogamy is the end result of an attempt to do that, the alternative attempt would be to meet each person’s needs and create sexually secure partners. This would mean asking people not to sexually discriminate as opposed to asking people not to sleep around. Maybe people throughout history just found it easier not to sleep with everyone they felt to sleep with than to sleep with people who they did not feel to sleep with. I am not sure though, what are your thoughts?