I am a better mom than you :P The mommy wars.

Okay so I am a stay at home mother and I believe that it is important for mothers to stay at home and raise their kids themselves and I think that women need more support to be able to make that decision. I think society needs to start supporting parenthood. I think society needs to stop looking at it like a luxury, like something that you should only do if you can afford it etc. Children are important because they are our future. Stay at home parenthood is also undervalued in my opinion. I speak out a lot about the reasons why I think that mothers (or fathers if that works better) should stay at home and I have a friend who is currently pregnant and does not intend to stay at home.

I read recently a blog post from her and I have the feeling that she thinks that I think that women should not have the right to bring children into this world if they do not do it a certain way. Or that I think I am a better mommy than her, so I feel the need to put how I really feel out there. I do not think that any parent is a better parent than any other parent. I do not think that any human is a better human than any other human, just as I do not think that any rock is a better rock than another rock. And yes that includes parents that rape their children or kill their children or drug and sell their children. I am no better than them. People, all people (just like all animals and things present in this world) are simply a reflection of the entire world around them.

We are each a reaction to our past and the past of those who came before us. When a person goes to school with a gun and tries to kill all the other students that does not make the person a bad person, when someone rapes and kills a 4 years old that does not make them a bad person. Those acts are a reflection of what those people have been and are going through. It makes their situation screwed up, but it does not make them better or worse than any other human or thing. On a lower more moralistic level I define right and wrong by how much pain or pleasure you cause or intend to cause.

By intentionally hurting someone you are doing something ‘’wrong’’ because you know the feeling of pain to be something bad. Working mothers obviously love their children. Whether someone works outside of the home or inside the home tells nothing about how much they love their kids or intend to bring their children joy. My sister works outside the home and she thinks I am crazy (or lazy) for leaving a good job to stay at home but the thing is fundamentally we have very different views on ‘’what is best for the child’’. We both love our children equally but to her what is best for her children is an education in the BEST, most expensive schools and an inheritance. For me I think children need someone to watch over and guide them.

That is a debate we as a society need to take on. What is actually best for the overall wellbeing of children? Not who loves their children more or who is a better mommy, or who has better intentions for their children because both sides can love and have the very best intentions and I think that in most cases both sides DO!


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